Philadelphia Pa, where I grew up there was alot of violence things that I didnt understand. My mother she always had toys for us and warm bed to sleep in. Sometimes I would fine her alone in her room looking out the window talking to herself . I grew up where all the kids were outside playing together everyday after school, jumping rope, riding bikes, we would walk to the corner store to get a snack before and after school. See growing up I would see alot of kids didnt have the same things I did so I would share my stuff. I would pack extra lunch or pencils. Sometimes, in my neighborhood I would see alot of happy kids. We would play and when it was time to go inside we would. Sometimes adults would argue or you would see them fighting. One time I saw a woman hit another women with a metal pipe and her eyes were black and she had bruises on her body. Growing up We would go to the library to play and read escaping from the realities that were outside. Where people were selling drugs on the corner, shooting at each other, playin dice games. Drinking outside and just being merry. Growing up there were sometimes alot of block parties where kids would play and strangers became close. The smell of pollution in the air and dinners from friends who had food. Growing up outside was a playground but if you got in trouble the neighbors would tell or get after you. these are some of the things I remember.
Tag: play
Director
Can you take it off and place it there, start slow I promise not to stare. Can you take it off and let your words be tight dance a little slow its just me and you tonight. Can you take it off and let your eyes wonder all over my mind and body tickle me with your words and place it on top of your clothes. Hide the camera and Hide the phones where the tv over there under the clothes. I didnt come here to listen to you talk I wanted you to pretend to walk on my mind but its just a thought. In reality your watching me, watch you and got me to thinking. I forgot that this is just relating to someone who actually been in this position turn around , are you listening. take it off and place it over there. I am in the mirror playing with my piano. the keys on my body got me feeling fine. The drink in my hand is making me feel nice. I am relaxed now all of my thoughts are silent wait a minute now wheres the vodka? I need more liquor in my cup why does it seem like this life of yours suck. NO its just someone pretending to listen and pretending to care go get your underwear they are over there. Did you cum for fun name one thing I said all night this isnt the life for me something isnt right. I am watching the movie of a girl who is just lost in something that actually traumatized her o wait sit down and go low with me I have to hide under the bed just sit back and see. Who is this knocking its just me and you. See why you need to stop this other people are coming through, but your not suppose to know whats going on remember you had the vodka and its on, its on. Im so stuck what the heck do I do God get me out of this so I can turn to you. God your the director and the author of my life all of the stuff I am talking about is just something that aint right. God you got me dont ya I said I will stop , why am I thinking about this with a drink in my hand is that just the liquor talking. NOw I have to pretend to like this trash all for what a wet …… nothing ever last
Thoughtful Teardrop
I thought about dropping a tear today,’ why? I am so frustrated, mad, angry, and sad. What! no way you feel alone? hurt? abused? shame? your not alone> I thought about dropping a tear for the little girl inside that cried and cried. I thought about dropping a tear for the woman who is in a relationship but feel like a single mother. I felt like dropping a tear for the teenager being promiscious and thinking she has to blend in with the crowd> I thought about dropping a tear for the woman who is not sure which way to go but do not want to give up! I thought about dropping a tear for the older woman who think is ok to give your children a negative view of life and think everyone is against you, instead of living your truth!
I didnt cry! I didnt shed the tear! I got up! I prayed! I gave it to God! I forgave the people! I forgave the person! I forgave myself! its a brand new day! the sun is shining! I feel the heat on my back! I see my children smiling! I see my children playing! I can live! I can run, I can jump! I can move! I am not fighting for my life mentally anymore! I decided to share with you! I decided to write! I am alive! I thought about dropping a tear today! but if you need to cry go head let it out and move on! its ok! let it go!
Paperless Tales 