there was a point and time where i was afraid to be alone, I was afraid to deal with me and so to avoid it, I would surround myself with what I called friends, I would try to drink my problems away or even deal with a no good man to feel satisfied… but it never helped because anytime God would have me sit with myself and my thoughts i dealt with fear, anger, sadness, and bitterness. I often found myself lying to me telling me I was good and that the mask i had on was good enough. it wasnt. the veil had become lifted and those emotions and feelings had come to surface. I couldnt hide it anymore, so I made a fool of myself I thought I could keep pretending and it gotten to the point where everyone saw me for who i was sad,bitter, angry, and an emotional rollercoaster. I couldnt hide behind anyone, I couldnt fake it, so I began to play the victim knowing i was the cause of my own disater and fate.
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WHAT DO YOU THINK?
why is when we think we know it all and too prideful to ask for help.
we think we don’t need help or even want help
somethings its ok to ask for a hand
studies show it does take a village to get things done
a good support system of family and friends etc
I used to not want to ask for help with nothing and realize being in survival mode is no joke
you got to get out of that mind set and take a chance on yourself and make a diffference by seeking the help you need for important things
how can you do better if you don’t change otherwise, you will be stuck in the same cycle and get nowhere.
take a chance on yourself
I thought that I had it all together until I got hit with a stomach bug. it hit me out of no where
I feel like a bomb hit me and knocked me completely down. Listen when your body says rest. No need to try to do more than you can …
Has anyone experienced these viruses before. It’s not like when we were kids…. Amen I mean seriously I was not able to do anything and that’s what hurt the most …
Thank God I’m good now
whats the first thing you see when you look at me?
Ive always looked at my photos and when its a full body picture I look at my arms
see it all started when I was 16 grandma put me on depo shots and I wasn’t sure what they were at the time but I was told it was good for me
so I told the dr to rotate and give em to me in my arms and then as I got older the bigger they got
I was on Depo for 2 years and I asked Grandma to take me off because it seemed like all I was doing was gaining weight and it stayed in my arms
I’ve gotten teased many years behind them but Now I just embarrass them. Now you may think oh just go to the gym
be that as it may, at this moment I’ve dealt with these arms since I was 16 with my weight up and down and it seems like I haven’t gotten anywhere
so what do you recommend? at this point even if I went to the gym I feel like they wouldn’t go anywhere……
From the drafts
I got to keep moving , I gotta keep pushing myself! Lord you are the one who knows everything and see it all and it seems like everytime I turn around and want to be happy about something it seems like there it is again. The drama, the lies the deception.
How can i handle daily activities when it seem like I am dealing with what is a form of the devil himself. The lies, the manipulation, the stories keep piling up. I dont want to say I am living with the devil but I keep trying to wake up from this dream of someone who I cared about so dearly is now turning into what seems like a ignorant form of a man
Lord you brought me this far and I know you have me dealing with these things for a reason. This is my testimony. This is my story of how I overcame it all. How i got through friendships I thought would last…..
Cozy
I decided to take photos of myself even when I wasnt happy so I can feel better
about myself. Once I look at the photo that I edited, it makes me feel better
embracing my natural flaws filter/unfiltered….. Does taking photos help you or is it
the attention that I acquire from the photo itself that helps me appreciate it? I am not sure anymore lol… these are really my thoughts
Its an alter reality where I question what makes me feel better. I love taking photos
I love how I look with or without the filter
The artistic view with the filter makes the photo come alive even in my natural state
I like to get creative with my photographs
you know what I actually feel good sooo let’s go…..
I got more photos to take and will be posting
let me know below how you feel about taking photographs
Losing weight
What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?
The only reason I say that is because I’m big on greasy food. I won’t allow my children to eat it, but I will. I want to change into a healthier lifestyle and make it part of my daily regimen.
Can you truly love me
can you truly love me when I’m down
Can you love me when I’m up and happy, being silly and just giddy all around you
can you love me when I’m a mess? My children have made me feel beautiful but I still don’t see it
can you love me and my curves the wrinkles that may form into a false smile but still hide the pain inside
can you love the way I love you when I see you down and even if I’m hurting lift you up?
can you love me the way God describes it in the bible as being patient and kind
can you love me when it seems everyone else has turned their back and I feel alone, I feel like the only true love I’ll ever get would be from someone who can benefit
can you truly love me and know that this is all I have to give is me, my life, my children, and my gifts…..
The only one who truly loves unconditionally is my heavenly father who also chose me…..
Can you LOVE ME….
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Feeling Beautiful in High Heels
she felt loved
She felt adored,
super fly in her high heels.
He saw her and stated she was so sophisticated.
She was feeling desired,
She felt beautiful.
but why is it the taste of the heels? is it the style of the shoes? What makes me feel beautiful anymore…..
But to know one thing can change how you think about yourself,
Ill take it over feeling insecure any day so please bring that attention my way
of feeling fly and high like my heels…..
Paperless Tales 