Category: blog
Taking Control
**Day 2: Taking Control of My Day**
I didn’t ask to be anyone’s emotional dumping ground. I didn’t ask to carry the weight of people who show up in and out of my life whenever it’s convenient for them.
My story starts young. My grandma took me in when I was three. The abuse in that house didn’t start right away, it came later, after my father passed, and it lasted until I was fourteen, when we finally moved. That part isn’t her fault. But over the years, she’s been in and out of my life, on her own terms, up until I got my own place.
When I got my own place, I opened the door wide. I told her wherever I live, she’s welcome. I meant it. I paid her to help raise my son while I worked. I helped her get her Social Security. I let arguments happen with people I was dating just so she’d always have somewhere to land. I even moved to be closer to her and my brother.
And still, every time I asked for help, I got complaints. Fussing in the morning. A smirk when things got hard for me, like some quiet satisfaction that I’d finally hit my breaking point.
So today, I told her to leave.
She didn’t take it seriously, because she’s used to me calming down and letting her back in. But this time, my brother is handling her things when he’s back from vacation. She can stay with him or wherever she was before.
Then she told my son I’d asked her to leave. He packed a bag and left with her. I’m not angry that he packed a bag. I’m angry that he chose not to stand on his own.
Here’s what I’ve learned: I never held it against my mom that my grandma raised me. Grandma didn’t have to take me in, but she did, and I never made my mom pay for that. But somehow, no matter what I do or how much I give, it’s never enough. I’m always the one absorbing the disrespect while everyone else’s shortcomings get excused.
I have five other children who need me present, today, not tomorrow. I can’t keep pouring myself into people who only show up to take.
So today, I’m choosing peace over chaos. I’m not afraid anymore. I’m handing the rest over to God, and I’m walking forward.
**If it costs you peace, remove it.**
*”Let the peace of God rule in your hearts…”* — Colossians 3:15
*”Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.”* — Isaiah 26:3
#Day2 #TakingControl #ProtectYourPeace #FaithOverFear #SingleMomLife #GodIsInControl #BetterThanYesterday #ChristianMom #BreakingCycles #FamilyHealing
I never thought
I truly feel like sometimes I ain’t good enough for certain family members like I was never at the level that they wanted me to be
No matter how much I helped
No matter how much I listen
No matter how much I encourage
And still I’m expected to show respect to someone who views me as an enemy instead of family
It causes damage mentally
Causes frustration
Why be around me if you don’t like me
It’s been feeling like I’m being used
But it’s your opinion that matters most
Yet I get mistreated and only help from you
If it benefits you
I don’t get help from you unless you want something in return
If I complain then I’m wrong
But why can’t I tell you how you wronged me
It’s sad, upsetting, and frustrating
Pondering
How do you instill things in your children that will help them grow and learn?
How do you get your children to understand how to be obedient and listen without overwhelming yourself?
I don’t want to keep using the same methods that didn’t get me anywhere with my older son with my younger children, so I tried to talk more and be more patient versus how I was with my older son and just discipline him every chance I got..
As I get older and my children grow older, it seems like talking to them at times feels like a lot like nobody is comprehending or understanding what it is that I’m trying to instill in them or teach them.
I grew up with several different ways of being disciplined and the ways that I chose to utilize what I was taught was not always good with my oldest child so I’m trying to be different with my other children…
What are some ways that you feel you can teach your children how to listen and understand what you’re teaching them without huge confusion or confrontation??
I genuinely would like an answer as to how you parent your children and what were the results of your parenting techniques that you use on your children?
Paperless Tales 