Prayers

February 20, 2025 loveli7659Leave a comment

April 2nd 2024

God, I want to thank you for me and my children,a new location, thank you God that the area feels like I can be comfortable . Thank you God I can walk around in the new area and it feels good to allow my children to walk around and play. Thank you God for my finances changes for the better and the new things that you are currently doing in my life. Thank you God for being a provider and way maker, thank you for providing all the necessities needed for my home. I asked that moving forward from here that I walk in my gifts and that my children see blessings from God each day that each of them flourish in every area of their lives and I thank you for protection that you place around each and every one of us on a daily basis. I thank you for protection inside the house and outside the house and I feel like I have to start over to build my relationship with you I have to pray harder for myself and children. I know you will always make a way to help me maintain and keep the place I live in such as keeping up with my rent utilities and bills, god I ask that I learn to be better with money management so that me and my children actually enjoy taking trips. God forgive me for purposely sinning fornicating homosexuality and being angry or bitter god I ask that each and every one of my family members to be delivered for protection financial increase breakthrough and ads that you continue to be with each and every one of them every step of the way in the midst of rebuilding everything that they are trying to build and everything that they lost. I asked God that you helped them supernaturally turn things around and make things the way that they need to be so that nobody is lacking in any area of their life in Jesus name I pray amen.

Desperate Cry

September 26, 2019 loveli7659Leave a comment

I feel the dark clouds slowly come over my head, I want to be free! I am tired like physically but mentally. I want God to use me to be an encouragement. I want to feel God fullness, its not easy but that is why we have free will. Lord free me from myself! I dont want to get left behind. Father free me from this captivity of confusion that I am living in. I want to feel the fire inside that I once felt. I want to see clearly, the way I have before! Father God in my heart I want more of you, but my flesh wont let me move, I feel trapped! I feel stuck, Like I am lacking something. I feel like I am slowly fading away from the lord. I dont want to feel the darkness anymore, I dont want to listen to the voices that tell me I am not worth it, that God will not supply my needs. I want to be free! I speak life into myself and my situation, I will own my own home! I will be a successful writer! I will be an outstanding mother and my children will know who you are! I can feel that my household is not in order! rid me of the devastation. I need more discipline I do not want to serve two Gods. I am tired of having children out of wedlock. I am not a victim of my circumstances, I am a solider! I will continue to fight! I will make it easy on myself! I need order, the voices need to be gone! the pain need to go away! Lord have mercy, the bad dreams need to go away! I am free, I am free no longer will I just sit back and watch other people prosper when I know that Lord faith without works are dead I dont want to keep feeling dead inside, Lord I am going to be whole again! I am going to feel your presence, you woke me up another day! please father dont leave me! I am desperate for you! In Jesus name make me over! I am at war with myself, I am in charge of my destiny!

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Director

September 16, 2019 loveli7659Leave a comment

Can you take it off and place it there, start slow I promise not to stare. Can you take it off and let your words be tight dance a little slow its just me and you tonight. Can you take it off and let your eyes wonder all over my mind and body tickle me with your words and place it on top of your clothes. Hide the camera and Hide the phones where the tv over there under the clothes. I didnt come here to listen to you talk I wanted you to pretend to walk on my mind but its just a thought. In reality your watching me, watch you and got me to thinking. I forgot that this is just relating to someone who actually been in this position turn around , are you listening. take it off and place it over there. I am in the mirror playing with my piano. the keys on my body got me feeling fine. The drink in my hand is making me feel nice. I am relaxed now all of my thoughts are silent wait a minute now wheres the vodka? I need more liquor in my cup why does it seem like this life of yours suck. NO its just someone pretending to listen and pretending to care go get your underwear they are over there. Did you cum for fun name one thing I said all night this isnt the life for me something isnt right. I am watching the movie of a girl who is just lost in something that actually traumatized her o wait sit down and go low with me I have to hide under the bed just sit back and see. Who is this knocking its just me and you. See why you need to stop this other people are coming through, but your not suppose to know whats going on remember you had the vodka and its on, its on. Im so stuck what the heck do I do God get me out of this so I can turn to you. God your the director and the author of my life all of the stuff I am talking about is just something that aint right. God you got me dont ya I said I will stop , why am I thinking about this with a drink in my hand is that just the liquor talking. NOw I have to pretend to like this trash all for what a wet …… nothing ever last

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Thoughtful Teardrop

July 7, 2019July 7, 2019 loveli7659Leave a comment

I thought about dropping a tear today,’ why? I am so frustrated, mad, angry, and sad. What! no way you feel alone? hurt? abused? shame? your not alone> I thought about dropping a tear for the little girl inside that cried and cried. I thought about dropping a tear for the woman who is in a relationship but feel like a single mother. I felt like dropping a tear for the teenager being promiscious and thinking she has to blend in with the crowd> I thought about dropping a tear for the woman who is not sure which way to go but do not want to give up! I thought about dropping a tear for the older woman who think is ok to give your children a negative view of life and think everyone is against you, instead of living your truth!

I didnt cry! I didnt shed the tear! I got up! I prayed! I gave it to God! I forgave the people! I forgave the person! I forgave myself! its a brand new day! the sun is shining! I feel the heat on my back! I see my children smiling! I see my children playing! I can live! I can run, I can jump! I can move! I am not fighting for my life mentally anymore! I decided to share with you! I decided to write! I am alive! I thought about dropping a tear today! but if you need to cry go head let it out and move on! its ok! let it go!