Category: accepted

accepted · addiction · daily · lonely · Uncategorized

Can you truly love me

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can you truly love me when I’m down

Can you love me when I’m up and happy, being silly and just giddy all around you

can you love me when I’m a mess? My children have made me feel beautiful but I still don’t see it

can you love me and my curves the wrinkles that may form into a false smile but still hide the pain inside

can you love the way I love you when I see you down and even if I’m hurting lift you up?

can you love me the way God describes it in the bible as being patient and kind

can you love me when it seems everyone else has turned their back and I feel alone, I feel like the only true love I’ll ever get would be from someone who can benefit

can you truly love me and know that this is all I have to give is me, my life, my children, and my gifts…..

The only one who truly loves unconditionally is my heavenly father who also chose me…..

Can you LOVE ME….

accepted · boundaries · daily · life · mental health · newlife · Reality · reality tv · take a break · to-do list · truth · Uncategorized

The Challenge of Self-Care: Why We Struggle

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riddle me this:

why is it so hard sometimes to set boundaries and maybe even take the time for yourself? Is it that we get so caught up in reality and during things of “the norm”? What does a typical day look like for you? Have you ever considered just relaxing for once?

These are some of the things I often ponder because I find it hard to understand myself. I sometimes feel like I am one of those people who would just keep going and going and going and then when I do take the time to relax I feel bad, I feel like I don’t deserve to sit down for a few moments and have time to myself because there’s always stuff that needs to be done.

Let’s start with something as simple as a to-do list, But do you even think that’s simple? it’s really not, it requires a lot of thinking a lot of using your mind to organize your thoughts, and then putting it on a piece of paper that in itself is not even easy.

Maybe what I can do is just start with something as simple as sitting down for a few minutes do you think that is easy? Sometimes I think it’s so hard to do something as simple as relaxation but, as we get older, we have to learn how to take that time and just shut out the world to get the peace of mind that we need for ourselves whether it’s going for a walk, going to the library or even just laying down relaxing.

here are a few simple steps that have worked for me even now:

  1. Pray
  2. Write a to-do list
  3. put my phone on Do not disturb
  4. Cook my favorite meal
  5. Go for a walk
  6. just sit down and breath
  7. watch a good tv show

In the comments below tell me some of the things that you feel would be a great addition to this list as well as whats some things that have worked for you in your everyday life thank you for taking the time to read today and I hope that we all can learn something peace out.

accepted · addiction · Autism · christian · church · Drama · family · free · Friendship · Grace · hope · patience · Reality · Recovery · strength · truth · Uncategorized · victorious · victory

Transform Your Mind: Trusting God Amidst Challenges

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Cast down negative thoughts, cast down things not of God, what did God say about you. Don’t get tired of waiting, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen have faith and trust in the Lord. Be anxious for nothing but pray in everything change how you see yourself change your vision, change how you see your bank account, you will see it in your mind first.

Don’t water yourself down to make others feel comfortable don’t change a thing about who you are be who you are unapologetically be bold strong and courageous make sure that you are fully grounded in the word of God so that you don’t allow any outside influences to make any changes negatively impact your life or your future.

accepted · christian · church · free · Friendship

Finding Strength Through Faith in Christ

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Now that you realize you were a mess, Let me deliver you and you out if you want answers go to Jesus don’t go back to your son and God will deliver you you will get free, and stay out don’t go back to the things that don’t bring God glory arise because there is power and glory inside of you I need your voice and your business and ministry you need to grow in Christ. keep practicing your faith in God. he is maturing you and allowing you to walk in him, grow in Christ, and don’t allow yourself to be denied the things he has for you.

accepted · acoholic · addiction

straight no chaser

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when i get that liquid courage i feel unstoppable. everything i want to say and do i have no thought behind it. i let it make me feel couragious. it takes a lot to admit that im addicted to the power i feel behind the drink. if i want to express my feelings and not care how anyone feels i do it. if i have an impulsive thought i act on it. if i want to be shy and pretend not to be outspoken i can do that. but the liquid courage i have sometimes has a price, sometimes im not nice and i will act out and do whatever i want. if you are around me you have to deal with it. i will shoot it to you straight no chaser. if you made me mad im telling you just like that. if im happy you will know and if im having mix feelings well there is normally no in between you get what i choose to give you in that moment. often times it makes feel sick but i still deal with it because without it i feel like i have no power and my voice is no longer being heard. i go back to being shy and asking myself why playing the events in my mind that occured and trying to figure out where was the blur. it really does become one sometimes because i will black out and not know what i did but those moments before i can either be your enemy or your friend it all depends on how intoxicated i am. sad part is i want to stop but cant i am brave when i have that drink, i am on top of the world….until im not and i want to stop and think but i cant i already had too much to drink so now, im free but not in the way i was suppose to be…..

Speak Louder
accepted · addiction · cheat · Drama · drinking · family · free · Friendship · ghetto · Grandpa · hope · kids · life · lonely · naive · pain · patience · Reality · Recovery · strength · truth · Uncategorized

Speak Louder

loveli76592 Comments

Im sorry I couldn’t hear you over my negative thoughts

I couldn’t listen to you over my own negativity that has been running through my mind like a mouse on a wheel

Do you think the things you said cut me deep when the cuts I had are still fresh. the words you speak only confirm what I have been feeling

Deep in my mind I often ran to that little girl who was pleasant but always cried out for help she would act up try to be a clown and try to be down so sometimes she comes out in other ways

you think what you did hurts me when I have been trying to silence the voices in my mind

SPEAK LOUDER let you opinion soar don’t shut down now I need more pile it all on me I can handle it because here’s the thing what you don’t see is me crying about it or pouting

O yes Im shouting now because I want you to ((( SPEAK LOUDER))))) make it known that you want to be free cuz I’m going to tell you that I’ve been there and done that and this isn’t my first trip

you think your words hurt when the actions have always been different and then expect a change from me, no please go be free cuz mentally I have been trapped and waiting to get out

SPEAK LOUDER didn’t you hear me the first time when I said its ok no need to explain I can see the pain when you walk away this time keep the same energy you gave me I am going to be free trust this is not over but it’s ok my thoughts will soon be dimmer and I will see clearer precisely who and what this problem is and then… at the point it will be… who knows… easier to speak

Move Forward…
accepted · Drama · family · free · Friendship · Grace · hope · life · lonely · naive · pain · patience · Reality · Recovery · strength · truth · Uncategorized · victory

Move Forward…

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Its ok to have high expectations for someone when you are dating and sometimes we set the bar too high because of past traumas and other situations we come across in our lives when it comes down to it. we need to make sure we are living out exactly what we expect from others too often, we treat situations differently meaning we don’t always allow people to treat us the way we deserve in turn having us set ourselves up for disappointment.

when you allow someone to treat you how you think they should and how you think that allows you to have anyone inside of you and takes you off your focus and your goal. when you allow anyone to have access to you and drop their insecurities and their thoughts and feelings on how it should play out for you, then you lose yourself in their dreams and expectations for you instead of what you set out for yourself.

Dont allow everyone to have access to you, don’t rush to date someone who doesn’t see your worth work hard for yourself to gain what you need to before you allow someone to come in and dictate your life. Stay strong demand respect and allow others to catch up to you. Never drop what you are doing to help someone else follow their dreams never put too much of yourself into anyone else that you lose your identity.

accepted · addiction · Drama · drinking · drunk · family · free · life · lonely · pain · patience · Reality · strength · truth · Uncategorized · victory

Deeper than Depression

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I have to sometimes find ways to channel my depression like truly as a mother your not aloud to be sad or have break downs you have to figure out which way to handle certain things that can cause a trigger in your life like a song, smell, location, or even person. you cant sit in front of your child and cry and so you decide to find a quiet place in the house away from the noise and just cry or either scream or pray but u decided once you get it out your system that there is not turning back that it has been taking care of. but what if it hasnt and just like a band aid covering an wound you decide to pick at the scab until it bleeds and it has to be treated again you decide the first way you handled the issue didnt work so you try another method calling a friend now this friend you calll u dont really know what they got going on in their life but you just know they answer and then you break down all of your emotions and tirggers of what is causing you to sink into depression and you think there that it they have listened gave feedback and i got it out my system so you think you left the conversation satisfied but this feeling just wont go away so now what do you decide to do to ease the pain and the emotions your feeling look at funny videos or shows to take your mind off spend some time with your kids to use as a distraction to get out of your own head and still no progress that feeling you have deepens to the point where its like although you a present physically mentally you are not there its one thought after the next and you think of the methods you used before that didnt work so then you go to the liquor store and get yourself a beverage to just take the edge off and numb the pain your feeling nd thoughts your having but then you notice your almost done that drink and decide to get another and another and one thing leads to the next and now your drunk and your mind is racing and at the same time not thinkng striaght you decide to comfront your demons but in a way where not your creating a bigger problem than before and your fighting yourself mentally because you tried to talk to a friend that didnt work, you tried to have time to yourself and that didnt work so now your drunk and acting out what your feeling to yourself or someone close to you trying to find out why you were sad in the first place what caused you to go so far that you had to keep drinking to subside the emotions how is this even helping you get better and after all of that you still have the problem so do i you really come up with a full blown solution to help with depression you just learn to accept it and pray to God day by day that it will get better you dont blame others for not understanding you or blame yourself for not understanding you do research read the bible and pray and talk to a professional to see how you can manage day to day with mental illness i hope that this help you see that you are not alone that it is a fight and you will get through keep pushing yourself and dont give up

accepted · Grace · strength · truth

Can we Be real

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how often have you tried to hide behind a lie, when you decided you want the world to see who you really are does it make you feel ashame? Are you always worried about what people would think if you really decided to show your true colors? It doesnt have to be that way if you look in the mirror and face yourself. It starts with you. No matter what anyone else thinks you have to decide who you are and where you want to be. Often times we turn down the person we are to be the person others want us to be we allow them to dump their insecurities, fears and visions on us of what they think we should be. All that does is cause us to lose ourselves and our identities to please someone who can not accept the real you. You never know you could help change anothers perspective by being honest with them and yourself. Its one thing to look presentable to the world and its another thing to lose yourself to please someone. If you feel like the person/people you associate with can not accept you for who you are, then you need to decide whats best for you and turn away from them. When you take the time to be what someone else want you to be its too much work that goes into that instead of building confidence in yourself and telling yourself and the world to accept you for you. Take the time to love yourself before loving someone else, take the time to get to know your wants and needs so you can set boundaries to know how you should be treated. take the time to grow and have an understanding of what you want to do in life and do not let anyone tell you different if you dont believe in yourself who will.

accepted · naive

I did not know

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I did not know the whole time it was me that had the problem. I am the one who chooses to make it seem like you have the issues that everything that happened to me, was your fault. You are the one to blame for the abuse, the one to blame for the rape, the one to blame for all of the things I did during that time. Why did you leave, why did you have to die, I think if you were alive I would have not did half of the things I did. I was looking for a father and you were no where to be found. Only God held my hand but I still turned away from him. Why did I punish myself for all of the things that happend to me. Did I put myself in that position to get hurt, used and abused. I did not know it was all my fault for blaming others for the stupid decisions. Now here I am a decade later and Yet I am still, I am still naive to all of the foolish ways that I have in me. Can I ignore myself….. Can I run from myself…. Im so confused…. I didnt know that I was going to have it this way…. and yet… and yet…. Im still here