Transform Your Mind: Trusting God Amidst Challenges

February 20, 2025February 20, 2025 loveli7659Leave a comment

Cast down negative thoughts, cast down things not of God, what did God say about you. Don’t get tired of waiting, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen have faith and trust in the Lord. Be anxious for nothing but pray in everything change how you see yourself change your vision, change how you see your bank account, you will see it in your mind first.

Don’t water yourself down to make others feel comfortable don’t change a thing about who you are be who you are unapologetically be bold strong and courageous make sure that you are fully grounded in the word of God so that you don’t allow any outside influences to make any changes negatively impact your life or your future.

accepted · Drama · family · free · Friendship · Grace · hope · life · lonely · naive · pain · patience · Reality · Recovery · strength · truth · Uncategorized · victory

Move Forward…

March 26, 2023 loveli7659Leave a comment

Its ok to have high expectations for someone when you are dating and sometimes we set the bar too high because of past traumas and other situations we come across in our lives when it comes down to it. we need to make sure we are living out exactly what we expect from others too often, we treat situations differently meaning we don’t always allow people to treat us the way we deserve in turn having us set ourselves up for disappointment.

when you allow someone to treat you how you think they should and how you think that allows you to have anyone inside of you and takes you off your focus and your goal. when you allow anyone to have access to you and drop their insecurities and their thoughts and feelings on how it should play out for you, then you lose yourself in their dreams and expectations for you instead of what you set out for yourself.

Dont allow everyone to have access to you, don’t rush to date someone who doesn’t see your worth work hard for yourself to gain what you need to before you allow someone to come in and dictate your life. Stay strong demand respect and allow others to catch up to you. Never drop what you are doing to help someone else follow their dreams never put too much of yourself into anyone else that you lose your identity.

accepted · addiction · Drama · drinking · drunk · family · free · life · lonely · pain · patience · Reality · strength · truth · Uncategorized · victory

Deeper than Depression

March 8, 2022 loveli7659Leave a comment

I have to sometimes find ways to channel my depression like truly as a mother your not aloud to be sad or have break downs you have to figure out which way to handle certain things that can cause a trigger in your life like a song, smell, location, or even person. you cant sit in front of your child and cry and so you decide to find a quiet place in the house away from the noise and just cry or either scream or pray but u decided once you get it out your system that there is not turning back that it has been taking care of. but what if it hasnt and just like a band aid covering an wound you decide to pick at the scab until it bleeds and it has to be treated again you decide the first way you handled the issue didnt work so you try another method calling a friend now this friend you calll u dont really know what they got going on in their life but you just know they answer and then you break down all of your emotions and tirggers of what is causing you to sink into depression and you think there that it they have listened gave feedback and i got it out my system so you think you left the conversation satisfied but this feeling just wont go away so now what do you decide to do to ease the pain and the emotions your feeling look at funny videos or shows to take your mind off spend some time with your kids to use as a distraction to get out of your own head and still no progress that feeling you have deepens to the point where its like although you a present physically mentally you are not there its one thought after the next and you think of the methods you used before that didnt work so then you go to the liquor store and get yourself a beverage to just take the edge off and numb the pain your feeling nd thoughts your having but then you notice your almost done that drink and decide to get another and another and one thing leads to the next and now your drunk and your mind is racing and at the same time not thinkng striaght you decide to comfront your demons but in a way where not your creating a bigger problem than before and your fighting yourself mentally because you tried to talk to a friend that didnt work, you tried to have time to yourself and that didnt work so now your drunk and acting out what your feeling to yourself or someone close to you trying to find out why you were sad in the first place what caused you to go so far that you had to keep drinking to subside the emotions how is this even helping you get better and after all of that you still have the problem so do i you really come up with a full blown solution to help with depression you just learn to accept it and pray to God day by day that it will get better you dont blame others for not understanding you or blame yourself for not understanding you do research read the bible and pray and talk to a professional to see how you can manage day to day with mental illness i hope that this help you see that you are not alone that it is a fight and you will get through keep pushing yourself and dont give up

christian · hope · life · strength · truth · Uncategorized · victory

Desperate Cry

September 26, 2019 loveli7659Leave a comment

I feel the dark clouds slowly come over my head, I want to be free! I am tired like physically but mentally. I want God to use me to be an encouragement. I want to feel God fullness, its not easy but that is why we have free will. Lord free me from myself! I dont want to get left behind. Father free me from this captivity of confusion that I am living in. I want to feel the fire inside that I once felt. I want to see clearly, the way I have before! Father God in my heart I want more of you, but my flesh wont let me move, I feel trapped! I feel stuck, Like I am lacking something. I feel like I am slowly fading away from the lord. I dont want to feel the darkness anymore, I dont want to listen to the voices that tell me I am not worth it, that God will not supply my needs. I want to be free! I speak life into myself and my situation, I will own my own home! I will be a successful writer! I will be an outstanding mother and my children will know who you are! I can feel that my household is not in order! rid me of the devastation. I need more discipline I do not want to serve two Gods. I am tired of having children out of wedlock. I am not a victim of my circumstances, I am a solider! I will continue to fight! I will make it easy on myself! I need order, the voices need to be gone! the pain need to go away! Lord have mercy, the bad dreams need to go away! I am free, I am free no longer will I just sit back and watch other people prosper when I know that Lord faith without works are dead I dont want to keep feeling dead inside, Lord I am going to be whole again! I am going to feel your presence, you woke me up another day! please father dont leave me! I am desperate for you! In Jesus name make me over! I am at war with myself, I am in charge of my destiny!

addiction · christian · Drama · Grace · hope · life · pain · Reality · Recovery · truth · victory

Recovery

September 19, 2019September 20, 2019 loveli7659Leave a comment

Recovery

See I am in Recovery, not just from addiction but from life.

See Trauma use to be my friend and I played victim to my circumstances,

I blamed everyone else for my problems except for me.

See I use to feel like the world owed me something for what happened to me

Not only was I molested a few times by people I cared about, I was raped by people who

Pretended to like me. Some ways it was rape like my body was violated in a major way, In the guys mind,

He thought I wanted to play the game. But also raped of my identity, I didn’t see forest before the trees, I didn’t see that I was special and worth so much more than how I was being treated. I was raped of the love that I was given taking advantage in every way possible.

I am in recovery from the addiction of a bad habit to this world of lies, deception, and cruelty. This world will chew you up and spit you out like a piece of gum. But when your young you act dumb.

See, I was raised in a wonderful household despite some of the issues. My grandmother provided, love, pain, and showed me how to be independent. I learned about the world in a different way, I learned that everyone isnt your friend. You don’t need to be noticed to get attention.

See I am in recovery because depression was my best friend to sit and feel like it’s the end. Contemplating on how and when I will take my life, since I feel like its only right. But that’s the sucker way out. There is more in this world than to sacrifice foolishness for pleasure. I am slowly getting it together.

See I am in recovery because alcohol use to make me brave and all the things, I didn’t say sober came out in a slur when I hit the liquor. Alcohol made me feel unstoppable, it made me feel numb to my harsh reality. I had to use alcohol to take away the anxiety and the things in my mind that didn’t make sense. But what it was doing was making me sick. Not only physically but mentally. I am worth something, that drunken one-night stand isn’t worth nothing. The problem I am trying to block out is still returning

See I am in recovery from always feeling like I must be around people when its people who didn’t want to be around me. They only wanted to hear the sadness and insecurity. I let someone treat me how they thought I was supposed to be treated instead of the Queen that I really am. I am strong, I am brave, I am a child of God what more can I say.

See I am in recovery to be the woman I am meant to be, but not just for my children, but for me.
I am not who you think I am. I am more than the negativity, I wish I never gave away the good part of me for free. I wish I never let the wrong person in my life, O wait a minute this is how you earn your stripes! This is how you get to know the truth in the harsh world so I take these life lessons and put them to use so I that I know what to look for the next time something thinks that can pull those kinds of moves.

See I am in recovery to be a Christian woman to share the word of the lord. He has kept me this long so I can minister to the world. If you can take the time to speak of negative things, then you can take the time to speak of God and his Gospel that’s why I am building my temple so I can be ready for any and everything I am brave. I can breathe again; my father has let me be who he sees fit for me to be. Lord I thank you for giving me the key. The choice to see right from wrong. Now I can go on knowing I have you to watch over me. Thank you, grandma, for showing me Jesus. I am in recovering and it will not end here, Life is unfair, and I have done my fair share. I have hurt and lost but now its time to get all I can and be who I need to for them.