being a child growing up in a household where certain things should be revealed. You have to act normal to the outside world, make it all look like your normal and happy.
Did we have it all yes! We had love, we had each other, we were taught to read, write, act, sing, dance, build, design, etc. we all were able to explore our creative sides of each other.
what we didnt know was that messing with each other in a sexual manner was not normal, we didnt know that as children, or teens. We should not sexual touch each other. We should not put any hand on anyone.
Growing up and having your innocents taking away in a fashion where it had a name, we are growing up and developing exploring each other. so much so that when you finally leave the home that started what i look at as a curse and hope that it stays there and not travel any where else.
it travels everywhere you go but not physically. its all mental, when you see other families and children. you think to yourself are they molesting each other. when you see a man with his daughter your wondering is she really happy and safe or is the trip to the toy story something to cover up for what he will do later in the night.
when everyone looks like a monster to you and you never talk to certain family memembers about it, you lock it away in your mind and live your life.
she knows that its wrong to talk about it, but its wrong to think everyone encountered the same thing that she did. Its crazy to think about it and not realize that as you grow older you look for the traits in people. but are the traits I mean can you really pinpoint it
she knows that your not suppose to bring it back up. she knows that your suppose to put in behind you. she knows she wouldnt dear let that happen to her children or do it to anyone else.
she knows when she went to threapy at the age of 13 to talk about it that it would be reported. she knows that if it was brought up at any family function it would get ignored so what does she do instead wait until she 32 with 5 children to let it out so that someone who is indeed going through it at this very moment know it may seem like your alone.
it may seem like you cant talk about it, it may seem like you wont escape it but there is help. there is a way to get by and you can survive use it as your testimony!